#Bangkok!

Its so frustrating to keep up with a blog, seriously. But I shall try. And yes, I know its been a seriously loooong time since I last updated but lets not talk about that shall we.. the reason why I stopped blogging was cuz I was just... plain lazy. Just me being me heh.

Lets start from where we were, shall we?

So.. PMR ended. For those of you who don't know, PMR is an exam. K thats all you need to know. Lets talk about the exam now. The first paper was BM. And.. it was just.. meh. Basically thats the only word that can describe the paper.. just meh. I don't really have the confidence for BM but we all can hope right? Next paper was English, I fucking aced that shit. Of course I had a few careless mistakes in paper 1.. but paper 2 was soooo good. Confident :) GEOGRAPHY WAS AMAZINGGGG. I checked my paper and had only a few wrongs ;) so far, I'm pretty sure I can get 2A's. Then came science.. lets not talk about that. Moving on. Sejarah.. I felt like it was a hard paper but when I marked it, I had 8 wrongs which is an A! Lucky heh :) then maths, wow.. idk whether to say it was easy or hard... ㅠㅠ let's just hope for the best. Last paper was KH, hahahaha I don't give a damn about that :)

But now that PMR has ended (it ended a month ago btw), I've been focusing more on improving my character and mind. I was recently feeling down for no apparent reason so I knew that I needed to change. How I changed? Well... firstly, I have this little notebook where I write down about the positive and negative characteristics about myself. I needed to stop being lazy, I needed to start to socialize, I needed to stop cussing (which I honestly fucking can't) and lets just say.. this notebook idea was a really a good thing for me. BUT ENOUGH EMOTIONAL TALK. heh.

I have so many stuffs to do. Keeping myself busy ;) because I am naturally busy (cheh cheh perasan) I plan to lose weight (lol no), I plan to learn a new language (coughkoreancough), and just enjoy life yo. That tiny little depression phase I was going through made me realize I should enjoy life no matter what. But I still need karma to work on someone. Yeah you know who you are.

Anyway, I'M IN BANGKOK RIGHT NOWW :) but I'm leaving tomorrow lol. Its currently almost 2AM here in Bangkok. I was lying down on the bed while reading a really famous blog which made me remember this blog hehe. I'll try to update more often because I have to start motivating myself and I feel this way would lead to a healthy motivation wahahaha.

Oh, Bangkok! I arrived last Wednesday to meet my aunt WHO HAS THE SAME FUCKING BIRTHDAY AS SOOYOUNG. Except instead of 90', my aunt is a 89' baby. BUT THE AMOUNT OF SHOPPING I DID IS JUST ASDFGGLHLHKSHAG. I have never shopped this much, seriously. But I'm happyyy :) thats all that matters.

Its sad that I'm leaving tomorrow but I am kinda homesick. The only problem is THERE'S KPOP EVERYWHERE HERE. LIKE SERIOUSLY. My aunt took me for a massage and there was a tv in front of me and I was like "ok cool lez wetch sum teevee" and suddenly TAEYEON JUST POPS UP LIKE A FUCKING PIMPLE AND STARTS SPEAKING THAI AND I WAS LIKE "HOLD UP MASSAGE LADY THIS IS MY FUCKING BIAS" and then another advertisement came and I was just like... ugh. My poor fangirl heart was denied that day.

The next day, I was in the car. I was on my way to a mall called "Platinum(?)" The stuffs there are amazing btw. Anyways, so while seeing the view, THIS FUCKING RUDE ASS BUS DECIDES TO JUST COME RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. AND THE BUS IS COVERED WITH TAEYEON'S FACE. I screamed so loud seriously you think a Directioner is bad, well then you haven't met a SONE. I WOULD SHOW YOU A PICTURE OF THE BUS BUT IDK HOW TO ATTACH A PICTURE USING MY PHONE, SO MY BAD.

So.. yeah. Thats what happened.

Its 2:15AM, I should sleep.

VOTE FOR SNSD BTW.

bye sluts and faggots.

#Miracles In December

yes yes my title is a song referance. i can't think of a proper title because i've recently been so damn into that song. kyungsoo's voice T_T baekhyun's voice T_T jongdae's voice T_T nOOOOOOO

can you hear me screaming? no? well screw you lol

anyway, this post is really really sad so i've decided to share it.

"dear everyone,

i’m sorry. i’ve caused so much trouble, haven’t i? my depression always gets in the way of most of my friendships and i can’t help it, i’m really sorry. i tried my best to be happy, but in the end, theres always a visible frown on my face.

would it be selfish to take my own life? to leave all my family and friends behind, obliterate the memories and fill the void in my heart with just this? is it selfish to leave you a letter apologizing when i know this is wrong yet it feels so right, it feels like that i should do?

i don’t like sad goodbyes, in fact, i cry. but i won’t cry this time, fists are clenched by my sides and i promise i’m holding back the tears. my eyes are emotionless now, i feel nothing, nothing. so if i die, won’t it be the same thing?

ah, there’s so much i wanted to do too. i wanted to go to a shinee concert, i wanted to be happy, i wanted to smile and listen to their music. i wanted to continue to support them. i wanted to visit all these different places, i was looking forward to graduating highschool early too.

its funny, i used to live the life. i had all i could ask for. friends that supported me, that listened to me, that would want to willingly hang out with me, but life taught me that one slip up can fuck you up for life, that’s why i’m here drowning in my loneliness.

forever doesn’t exist. friendship can’t and won’t last forever, either. it’s better off to be alone, or maybe, just maybe it’s better to be dead. to see nothing, to feel nothing, to hear nothing, just silence and emptiness. it’d be nice to get some peace and quiet.

dad, was i too beautiful for you not to touch? did you really mean you loved me in a fatherly way or was that just an excuse to slip your filthy hands under my night gown? i laugh at you because everyone pretends to like you, it’s really funny how people lie, just like you when you cheated on mom isn’t it?

hey, hey. i forgive you for making me feel dirty, for taking advantage of my body when i said no, when i couldn’t push you off of me. men like that kind of stuff, huh..? or at least that’s what i’ve been told. forced sex doesn’t exist, that’s what everyone says. even after you tainted my body, i still find it in me that i’m in love with you. helplessly. i still talk about you as if we were still dating.

and to my friends that have abandoned me, was that rumor fucking worth it? do you think i would betray you all after 4 years of pure trust and fun? he lied to you. he lied to all of you, every single one, and what baffles me is to believe someone who just moved here over your best friend. sometimes, on weekends, i still wait for you to call.

and to the world, thanks for nothing.

you know, i really like to sleep a lot. so i’m going to sleep for a longer length of time. you can call it forever, if you’d like.

love,

aya."

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

I sincerely hope she's okay because no one deserves this. almost all teenagers can relate to this but we all must stay strong. no matter how tough family can be or how bitchy useless friends can be. after all, teenage years are just a very little phase in life.

so please, everyone. fucking take care of yourself. stay positive.

(i know i sound really deep but i'm just sick and tired of suicide.)

#Sunway Lagoon!

Nihao amigo! It's been awhile. Brohoho. Anyway let's get started, shall we? As you can see, my title says Sunway Lagoon. You know why? Cuz I went to Sunway Lagoon la stupid -.- Three days ago, my friends and I went to Sunway! The dude who planned this was so pumped and asking us all to go to Sunway *ehem Boon ehem* but it was sooooo worth it. At first I was contemplating whether to go or not since the entrance fee was quite expensive. But then I realized that it includes every park which is daeeeeebak. So then I decided to go. Since YOLO, am I right? Meep. 

A day before Sunway. I was like normal... just chilling. Then when night came -.- hyper like shitttt. You know the feels you get when you're about to sleep but you're just too excited for no goddamn reason? I had that. Now don't get me wrong, I usually get excited for an outing but not until the point where I can't freaking sleep -.- so I'm just laying there, staring at the ceiling. Then I thought, why not spam Twitter? Turns out, I was not the only one having the "hyper until cannot sleep" problem. I see Yean Mae and Hariz spamming Twitter too. Then we three had a retarded conversation like we always do untillll they BOTH LEFT ME ALONE TO ROT. Thanks ah love you guys x) no la jk. After that also I tried to sleep. Which was like at 3am. Woke up at 7am. Suppose to wake up at 6am but fail. And I was so thankful that Hariz spammed me to death, otherwise I would have never woken up and Yean probably would have waited at my condo like a fool lol. Showered really quickly and packed my stuff. Was drying my hair then Yean asked me to come down. I rushed like shit then realize my lift was not working. Ran down the stairs until I reached the 6th floor and took the lift. Finally sat in the car and these bitches in the car.. a.k.a Yean and Jayne. Idek anymore. Yean was vibering me and Jayne was messing my hair. I can't even. But yeah I love them. Right Yean bby?

Arrived there first and saw Hui Lim and her friends there too :3 there were playing Hello by NU'EST and One Shot by B.A.P. I had to sing cuz it's like my jam k. Then Yee Ning, Boon, Mek, Jia Hui arrived. And shortly after that Hariz and Harith arrived. That stupid Hariz jumpscared me when he came. Thanks ah xD We entered then blah blah. Changed into our swimming clothes and WE WENT CRAYCRAY. Went to Scream Park first. Yean, Jia Hui and Mek decided to play something else since they were not comfortable going in the Scream Park~ it was fucking fun and scary hahahaha I was holding Jayne and Yee Ning's hand when they were showing the movie. We were looking around to find whether there will be any jumpscares or not. Speaking of jumpscares, when they were explaining the do's and dont's SUDDENLY a freaking ghost scared us hahaha it was so funny xD the couple in the movie was so stupid tho. The pocong part was too funny la... Hariz kept getting confused cuz there were mirrors EVERYWHERE xD the zombie part was scary tho cuz they kept scaring me only -.- huhu T.T then the ending hahaha, we saw the exit and were like "hooray!" then suddenly a guy with a chainsaw came out and we were like "RUN RUN SHIT RUNNNN!" hahaha then we all started laughing like shit. 

Then we went to the amusement park! That pirate ship ride thing was sooo epic. But I barely could breathe. Cuz the thing that protects you from falling (idk what you call it) was so tight around my chest.... around my boobies. lol. Mek kept screaming and Boon was just laughing. I was doing both. Screaming and laughing XD at one point, the ride suddenly stopped but we were still turning. The guy next to us was like, "WHY DID IT STOP WHY DID IT! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE" Boon and I were laughing so hard since he had a really heavy Indian accent xD 

Then we went to a ride. I forgot the name. It was tamohawk or something idk. That ride was very similar to the one in Times Square. I sat with Jia Hui and her slipper almost fell hahaha xD I kept screaming and Hariz was like, "shut up la dam" bitch you shatap k x) then we went to a roller coaster which ended in like 30 seconds. So sad.. 

Then.. WATERPARK TIME! We went to vuvuzela, the wave pool thingy, waterplexx 5D (is that what you call it?) basically it's like you're watching a 3D movie, with moving chairs and water splashing all over your face. It was so funny especially when there was random splash moments. My friends were like whoa-ing the whole time but I was just lol-ing. It was too funny for me x) That's ze waterplexx. The wave pool is basically a pool with waves. no shit sherlock. It was really fun there since all of us were there just dancing to random songs that were playing. Hariz and I started rapping to a Malay song. Yes, we cool liddat. Jayne and Yee Ning was derping around. Idek what Boon was doing. Jia Hui was on my back the whole time and we were all so crazy like omg. While playing, all of a sudden, BAM! there's that hamster rolling ball thingy right at the middle of the pool. And Jia Hui and I were like, "dafuq?" There was a really funny old lady trying to move the ball but failed miserably haha.

Vuvuzela was the best, in my opinion. We went there for like 5 times. Yeap lifeless kan? But it's seriously damn cool :P After everything, we went back to get our shoes but then, Boon and Jia Hui's slippers went missing haha. Jia Hui was walking barefoot until Yean offered her shoes to Jia Hui. Waa so kind hearted XD Boon had extra slippers so it was k.

We walked around Sunway Pyramid to find a place to have our dinner. And yes, Yean was walking barefooted until we found a shop that sold slippers. Finally we all had shoes x) Went to Daiso for awhile. Just to browse around. Finally, dinnah time! I won't write about that since the whole time I was really tired and decided not to talk a lot x) Then Yee Ning's dad came and picked us up :P on the way home, they were talking about some Chinese festival (I won't say what because I forgot what was it called lol) and idk why I was so into the topic and I kept asking retarded questions. I'm such a loser ;A; Meh. I was the first to go home since we passed by there first :3

Showered. Drank milk. Used computer for awhile. Slept like a baby.

That was pretty much it. There was more but I'm just to lazy to type all the small details :D ok bye.

#Hi

So.. hi x) how's it going.. Some bitch named Yean Mae is forcing me to update about Merentas Desa or as in English it's called Cross Country. So I shall. Two days ago, we had Merentas Desa. I woke up, pumped and ready to run. Arrived at school at like 7:15. I realized I had no number so I was like "WHY". Went to see my rumah hijau teacher and she was like "gurl y u no come", I'm like "bitch just give me the number." I forgot my number now lol who cares for that shit anyway. Eulynn and I didn't give a shit about the senamrobik they did, so I just kept dancing one part of B.A.P's Crash continuously. That help me help me part hahaha.

Then it was time to run, I was so hyped at the beginning haha kept walking jogging with so much semangat, then I reached the junction. OUT OF BREATH. SO MORE STAMINA. but I still tried jogging, eventually got a mark. It's something. Then after jogging and all, reached school and only saw one person there. Hariz. That nigga was just sitting there and chilling. I was so frustrated since my sock decided to be a bitch and made me get a hugeeee blister on my foot. Right in the middle of the foot. Like ouch. Jayne and Eulynn arrived and we started camwhoring, as usual. Then we had to move to the dewan gemilang. So gemilang la... -.- lol. Sat with Boon, Bryan Loo, Mek (Marc), Sandra, Hariz, Jayne, Eulynn and Queenie... is that how you spell her name... idek. Yean, you know what was going on that time between us so yes XD

It was too funny. Hariz and I kept making jokes like omg. But when it was Yihuan's turn to take her award.. we screamed like dogs. WOOF WOOF. lol no but still. She won third place btw :3 SO PROUD OF THAT GIRL ;A; and rumah hijau got second place. It's still something k. Then we sang the song we always sing when it's Merentas Desa. That 1Malaysia song.. like why. We  went to class but didn't do shit haha. We were camwhoring the wholeee time. But kesian the other classes, had to go and study :P SO SAD FOR YOU PEOPLE. hehe. except Hariz though, he skipped that shit.. cuz YOLO, am I right? *awkward chuckle*

Here are ze pics. It's almost entirely the same as Yean's blog so.. yeap. SHE TOOK IT FROM MY PHONE IT'S NOT MY FAULT. But k here they are.

Jayne, Eulynn, and an example of perfection (me la stupid)

:D

This is Yihuan :) FEATURING HER HAND 

THAT FACE

He looks constipated.

My face tho.

Sorry Sabrina, Yean and Hariz haha x)

PUAN JAYA! AWESOMEST TEACHER EVER

Boon can you stop with your sexy smirk pls

Favorite picture! hell to the yes. thanks to my awesome photography.

Her face.

GAHAHAHAHA BEST PICTURE EVER

Idek anymore.

BOON'S DERP FACE HAHAHAHAHA

BOON AGAIN HAHAHAHA

THIS GURL ON THE LEFT IS SO CUTE SERIOUSLY

Luk at dis bitch.

THAT IS ALL NOW GOOD BYE

Meep.

#Exams over!

So, nihao. It's 15 mins to 1am right now. You know what does that meannnnnn? BLOGGING TIME BITCHES. And I have school tomorrow hohoho. Speaking of school, exams are overrrrrr. For now la lol. Then back to studying again. Ugh, just thinking about it makes me wanna hit my head with a broom. All the papers ah.. damn sien.. all sure no A. Except moral and sivik la haha. STILL PROUD OF MY PRECIOS APPLE FOR SENI THOUGH. Eheks. Maths ah, the worst subject. Can go die in a hole. Stupid piece of formula. Toilet formula. Wait.. this is not Twitter, i can't rant my anger hehehe geddit geddit. Omg... Yean's humour is getting to me. SOMEONE STOP THIS. NOOOOO.

Ehem.. anyway. Yesterday was da' bomb! Went out with friends after exam! Exam of course was shit but after that was amazing. So it was after school, and the boys were getting naked in class. Yes they were. They were changing clothes la, what else. I also changed hahahaha. Luckily i was wearing my shirt inside. While putting on my jeans, Jia Hui passed by and gave me that "look" WHATCHU LOOKING AT JIA HUI NEVER SEEN AN INDIAN CHANGING IN THE CLASSROOM AH AIYO. And yeah... hehe. Got into my dad's car with all the boys.. literally. The girls all went with yean's mum. Such a depressing sight, kan? LOL NOPE. The boys were so fun in the car xD singing kiss you hahaha :) when we reached mv, we walked around while waiting for dem girls. We went to this candy shop. It was heaven. Bought some candy WHICH EVERYONE FINISHED. thanks ah xD

Then the girls came and we went to eat laksa! Well marc and I didn't eat laksa... we ate nasi lemak. STILL AWESOME. Then I saw yee ning struggling with her broken kuey teow so I helped her pick all of them and fed it to her xD i'm like a mum.. well I am the oldest of them all. Really. Anyway, then after that we went inside few shops then idk how we ended up at Daiso, buying some really stupid mask and hats, walking around the whole mall wearing that with swag. Oh and not to forget, we bumped into some form 2's.as well :)

Then we went to karaoke! On the way there was too funny, we were sooo lost hahaha xD and omg Hariz's mask was tooo funny xD and jason's dance idek hahahaha. Too bad marc wasn't there :( he went back. So early D: karaoke was really fun :) jia hui and I kept doing the gary and haha wave. Yean and I kept laughing like retards. Bryan, boon, jason and i were dancing like orang gila and yee ning was all singing xD she main singer yo. Malaysian snsd for a reason. So like, yee ning and bryan loo is the main vocal. Yean is the lead vocal. Jia hui, me and Hariz would be main dancer and the horny boys shall be lead dancer. PERFECT KAN? And im main rapper cuz I have that indian swag pirate hat thing. Hehe :3

Then suddenly, DUN DUN DUNNNN, I stepped on 2 pieces of really tiny glasses that fell on the floor, GENIUS. Went to the clinic to remove it. Screamed and cried like a pussy (Y)

Thats pretty much it. I'm really tired right now. So... bye! And here's a picture!

#Dante is hot

Today. Omg like the best day of my life hahahaha. By best I mean, funniest :D the amount of laughing I did today was just... asdfghjkl. Well you wanna know why? TOO BAD YOU CAN'T. Just joking... gosh this lameness disease from marc and yuen qi is really getting to me...

PJ! the first subject of the day. WHICH I HATE SINCE WE CAN'T WEAR PJ CLOTHES UNTIL WE GO HOME. T.T why pengetua :c so I decided not to wear pj clothes at all since it was a new rule to change your clothes before recess. Cuz of that we stayed in class. We actually went down for a while just to see the boys to some weird movements... and by we I mean, me, Yean, Yee Ning and Jia Hui who are all lame people. Just saying ^^v. Yean was really hyper while the rest of us were just staring at her. Then Yean and Jia Hui started throwing my wallet at each other. MY WALLET. MY BIG FAT HEAVY WALLET. Then yeah I got it back hahahahaha. We went up to class again.. then we and Yean kept making each other laugh but then.. yee ning was reading sejarah and Jia Hui was making stars.. THEY SO QUIET. Jia Hui hands when she was doing the star ah... i tell you.. so cacatly awesome. Then had to go to 3B cuz goldfish was there. *inside joke*.

After that was science. The funniest part of the day. Boon and I creating lame jokes like hahahaha. "Where does Bryan go when he needs to pee? To the Loo!" Gahaha i kenot. Then i wanted to ask Yean about science when she suddenly made me laugh so badly.

Me: starfish is what ah?
Yean: starfish is meant to flaaaaaiiiiii
Me: ....hahahahahahahahahahhaha

"Which flower teaches bm? Pn ros" hahahahahahaha xD laughing at my own jokes cuz im sexy.

Then i/c/wm. Helped them stick some quotes on the wall. THERE WAS A KEEP CALM AND LOVE 소녀시대 THERE UGHHHH HARIZ THANK YOU FOR PUTTING THAT :D hariz is a walrus. Thats all. Didn't go recess but manage to buy two sausages hahaha yes! Ate it in class xD then helped Yean decorate the class for like one part only lol. Sorry Yean i was really tired and lazy =3= i asked Bryan to draw Dante
for me but he didn't T.T orz. It was go home time anyway xD

Teman Hariz to tell something to Jamalluddin and take his nasi lemak lol. Then gave him a lift to Pathways :D after that I went to eat with my dad at Hailam. Saw a really familiar girl next to hailam but i don't remember where i saw her. Oh well.

That's all that happen. This is all I can say <--- aiyo sangat dramatic.

Kbye^^

#Derp

Today was the most derpiest day ever. Literally. First it was KH, we all were still sane but we were talking about lalat, tikus and lipas. Cuz we're awesome. Then came english, still sane. It was a bit boring since we took the whole period to do our novel (which sucks). It doesn't really suck but the ending sucks a lot. So, basically, it sucks. Then we had 2 periods of Moral, that one also damn boring. Except for the side jokes that either me, Yean, Yuen Qi or Marc would make. Some jokes are really funny and some jokes are really lame. Like Marc. TEEHEE c:

Anyway, so then it was science, we didn't study cuz' teacher wrote us the new timetable and also gave us the timetable for exams which is pretty cool (Y) all the hard ones are at the end of exam :D more time to study (which I won't do) hoho~

Anyway, I think it was pretty much after recess that I went crazy with my friends. During BM lol. Me, Marc, Bryan Loo and Boon Keat were just talking about life... it was such a serious matter hahaha. Now that I think about it, we practically talked about our future... when we didn't even finish our PMR yet.. lol OTL. Then it was Maths, we were all seriously doing our revision except for the horny boys la they were pissing me off buy they do that everyday so... I can't do anything but hold on the annoying-ness. New word bitches.

Then Sejarah... yep we went insane. Yean was drawing freaking Muthusamys and ugly people on her notepad. SAVE THE PAPER FOR SOMETHING ELSE LA AIYO. Somemore when she drew the weird hair, sepet eyes, braces dude, I died laughing and came back to life. I NEED THERAPY, LALALALALA THERAPY. hahaha terapi. Somemore in Sejarah, teacher was asking us questions from a book which apparently has the answer so we were like "whats the answer?! CHECK BEHIND CHECK BEHIND! MY ANSWER IS C? KK" but turns out, half of us were wrong. Hahaha ultimate fail.

Then it was stayback hahhahahahahahahahahaha even during lunch, we were already starting to laugh xD i took some pics which I will post at the end :D Yuen Qi kept bursting in laughter for no reason. Then she held her laughter and managed to tell the lines properly xD when we had to do the "copy each other" lines was the funniest. MARC AND YEAN ROCKED AT ITTTT. At first it was funny cuz of their expressions but then they were so pro at it. 'Oh mom..' hahaha xD then Yee Ning also joined us after playing netball. Her shoes ah.. it was black like my face seriously. But yeahhh that was what happened today.

Then I came home and slept until now. And here I am blogging. Then gonna eat dinner, shower, and study :D

Marc's derp face hahahahaha

Well, that's it. BYE!

#Ermahgerd

Hahahaha I can't believe this. I forgot about this freaking blog again. And I deleted ALL my posts. Cuz I realize what a dumbfuck I was.

Anyway, Yuen Qi reminded me of my blog. I was talking to her and suddenly she asked me about my blog. So here I am xD well... yeah. Since CNY is over, its exam timeeee! Yes. I have exam. Next week. And i'm prepared.... to fail. Hehehe im so funny. I DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL TODAYYYYY. PONTENG. lol nope. I had a dentist appointment to go to. You think I bad girl ah wanna ponteng. I'm not like YOU. Yeah, you. You. Stupid.

Anyway, vat am I doing here updating this stupid blog which took a holiday for a few months. I should be sleeping tbh. Its almost 1am and all my friends are asleep. Don't know whether they are noobs or im just having insomnia. NOPE THEY'RE NOOBS.  C: that face. It scares me but I still use it. C: you can use it when you're trying to sound happy or creepy. Happy = cheer up! c: || Creepy = im gonna kill you in your sleep c: see what I mean?

Lol this bitch Yean keeps interrupting my blogging time with her AMAGAH can you not Yean. Just go digest your bouncing bread and stare at lynape's hair k. Speaking of hair, am I the only one that loves tiffany's hair like omg

Hehe lol k bye wanna sleep.

Because my outro is amazing.

HER HAIR FUCK ME ITS SO SILKY